Please Don't Leave Me
by Eternal Soldier
Summary: JJ and Reid have now been secretly together for two months and are deeply in love. But when Hotch is suspended, Prentiss quits, and Gideon just disappears, Reid's abandonment issues rise up. Will Gideon come back? And how will this effect Reid and JJ?
1. Waking Up With You

**A/N: Here it is everyone: _Please Don't Leave Me_, the sequel to my JJ/Reid fic _And I Always Will. _If you haven't read that one, I highly recommend you read it first, otherwise parts of this story won't make sense. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the first story, and those who added it to their alerts and favourites- I hope this story lives up to your expectations!  
Warning: Slight spoilers for 3x02- In Birth and Death.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of it's characters.**

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Spencer Reid and Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: a couple that nobody had ever seen happening, a couple that most people still believed would never happen. Yet it had happened. Two months earlier, Reid and JJ had finally confessed that they loved each other. One month earlier, Reid had pulled down his walls and let JJ in, admitting his drug addiction to her and letting her help him. One month earlier, Reid had stayed at JJ's house and the couple had fallen asleep in bed together for the first time.

Every chance they'd had since then, Reid and JJ had spent the night together- just lying there, holding each other until they both fell asleep. They had not yet had sex, and nor did they feel like they needed to. They just wanted to be with each other, without having to hide their love from everyone.

No one else knew of JJ and Reid's relationship, not even the rest of the team. It wasn't because they didn't want anyone else to know- in fact, Reid wanted nothing more than being able to tell the team that this glorious woman was his. The secretly was actually because they couldn't tell anyone- JJ and Reid were both members of the FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit, and fellow agents were forbidden from being in a relationship with each other. Being on the same team made things even worse.

Most of their time was spent at JJ's place- she lived in an actual house as opposed to Reid's tiny apartment, which contained nothing more than the bare essentials and a library's worth of books. Reid was at her house so often that JJ often thought he should move in with her, but she had never mentioned the subject. Mostly that was because living together would raise suspicions, but it was also because she didn't know if Reid was ready for that level of commitment. He had been hurt so much in the past, it took a lot for him to trust people and let them in. It was enough that he had told JJ of his Dilaudid problem and let her help him break the addiction.

That, fighting the drug addiction, had been very hard on Reid. He'd gone through serious withdrawals, serious cravings. His body had ached for the drug, and he had pleaded with JJ to get some for him. It broke her heart to see him like that- she had never seen Reid look pitiful like that, begging to her. At times he had been rather crabby and snapped at her, but JJ had stayed calm and managed to soothe him. She hadn't let his fight end their relationship, and now it was stronger than ever.

JJ shifted in Reid's arms, but she didn't wake from her sleep. They were sleeping in JJ's bed once again; it was much bigger and comfier than Reid's. Reid had woken only a few moments earlier, jolted from sleep by the beep of JJ's alarm clock. He hadn't woken JJ straight away though; he'd wanted a minute to watch her sleep. She was beautiful- so, so beautiful. Reid still couldn't believe she was his.

"JJ," he whispered. "JJ, wake up." JJ stirred a little, but didn't wake up. "JJ," Reid repeated, louder this time while also lightly brushing her face. This time JJ's eyes flickered open. "Hey," Reid said, smiling.

"Hey," JJ replied sleepily. "What time is it?"

"Your alarm went off a couple of minutes ago," said Reid. "We've got to get ready for work."

"What if I don't want to go to work?" JJ asked. "What if I just want to lie here forever?"

"Then we would never move from this spot, JJ," Reid replied. "But seriously, we need to go to work. Neither of us is ever late, and if we are even once it will begin to look suspicious."

JJ sighed. "Sometimes, I really hate it when you're right," she said, slowly and regretfully extricating herself from Reid's arms. Both agents got out of the bed and pulled on their work clothes. They no longer felt the need to change in separate rooms- they no longer felt embarrassed by the possibility that the other one could see everything.

JJ appeared in front of Reid as he picked up his tie and took it into her own hands. Reid ducked his head obligingly so JJ could slip the tie around his neck. When she had finished tightening the knot, JJ left her hands on the back of Reid's neck. Seeing the look in JJ's eyes and realising what she wanted, Reid obliged again and bent down even closer so his face was hovering right above JJ's. She brushed her lips against Reid's gently and looked at him for a second before going in for a real kiss. They kissed, and kissed, and kissed… After a while, Reid began to gently push his tongue against JJ's lips, until she opened them and granted him entry. He had one hand one hand on the small of her back, and one hand in her hair, holding her as close to him as he could.

JJ and Reid only broke apart when JJ's secondary alarm went off, signalling that they had to leave for work. She had never needed a secondary alarm before, but ever since she had begun seeing Reid both of them had taken a lot longer to get ready for work than normal.

JJ sighed and began walking out of the room, Reid right behind her. When they reached the front door, JJ rested a hand on the doorknob and turned back to face Reid. "Do you think we'll ever get to that stage?"

Reid didn't have to ask JJ what she was talking about; he already knew. "Yes," he replied instantly. "Absolutely. I mean, not that I don't already want to, I do, really, it's just-"

"Spence, it's okay, I get it," JJ said. "You're not ready yet." JJ used her free hand to take one of Reid's. "And I can wait for you, forever if I have to. I know you find it hard to let people in, and I don't blame you in the slightest."

"We will get there, JJ," Reid promised her. I know we will."

JJ smiled, and gave Reid's hand a reassuring squeeze before they both walked out the door. They climbed into their own cars, Reid into his old blue Volvo and JJ into her much newer white one. They still drove to work in different cars to keep up appearances and to not arouse suspicion. Reid drove off, and like every day JJ waited a few minutes before driving off after him. Reid was always the first one to arrive, and his apartment was closer to work than JJ's house.

When JJ walked into the BAU bullpen about twenty minutes later, the first thing she saw was Reid already sitting at his desk. Neither Morgan nor Prentiss had yet shown up for work, but Reid had already started on his paperwork. JJ chuckled and looked up to Hotch and Gideon's offices.

Neither of them were there.

That was definitely unusual. Hotch and Gideon always beat her and Reid to work, especially now. They would not be late to work unless they had a very good reason.

JJ looked from the two offices to Reid, who had noticed her staring. He had the same look on her face as she did: worried and confused.

She walked over to him. "They would've told us if they weren't coming in today," Reid said, trying to convince himself as much as he was JJ.

"I'm sure they would have," JJ agreed. "But normally they would've been here by now. You may have occasionally beaten them to work before, but now…"

"They always beat me here," Reid finished.

The two agents were still talking when Morgan walked into the bullpen. "Hey you too," he greeted them jovially. "What are you talking about?"

"The fact that both Hotch and Gideon haven't shown up to work yet," JJ replied. "They would be here by now without question, unless they'd already told us they weren't coming in- which they haven't."

"I'm sure they'll be here soon, JJ," Morgan said, trying to soothe her. He looked around the bullpen. "Has Prentiss shown up yet?"

"Not yet," Reid said. "But it's not so unusual for Prentiss to be late. Hotch and Gideon both being late? That is strange."

"We'll wait a little bit longer," Morgan decided, taking charge. "After twenty minutes, we'll start the briefing even if none of them have shown up."

Morgan sat down at his desk, and he and Reid continued to work on their stacks of folders. JJ headed up to her office to prepare the folders for the briefing. When she stepped out of the room nearly twenty minutes later, she looked down at Morgan and Reid. Both men looked at her and shook their heads. The three missing agents had not shown up.

JJ gave Morgan and Reid one last look before heading to the meeting room. The two men instantly rose from their seats and followed her.

"It feels weird, starting the briefing when there's only the three of us here," Reid said as he sat down. He looked down at the file JJ handed him, not really reading it. His mind was elsewhere, worrying about where Hotch, Prentiss and Gideon were. Especially Gideon.

While Morgan was actually reading through the case file, JJ knew exactly what Reid was thinking. All three of them were worried about the others, but Reid… that fear was amplified. With what had happened to him two months ago, and his fear of abandonment and losing those he cared about, JJ wasn't surprised.

Out of Morgan's sight, JJ moved to stand behind Reid and gave his shoulder a soft, reassuring squeeze. He turned around to look at her, and touched her hand briefly before Morgan could look up. When he did, JJ was still standing behind Reid, but the two of them looked perfectly normal. She just appeared to be reading the case file over Reid's shoulder.

When JJ noticed Morgan watching them, she looked up. "Let's get started then." She moved away from Reid, towards the screen and the board at the front of the room.

"Salt Lake City, Utah needs our help," JJ began, switching into work mode. "Four women in their thirties have been kidnapped, beaten, raped, and then killed by strangulation."

"Where were the women found?" Reid asked.

"All three women were found in dumpsters," JJ replied. "They had just been tossed in there."

"Like the UnSub didn't care if they were found," Reid concluded.

"It would've only taken a few minutes for the UnSub to dump the bodies," Morgan added. "And it also seems like he doesn't care about these women at all- like they mean nothing to him."

"Well anyway," JJ continued, "the UnSub manages to kidnap these women from public places with no witnesses, and kills the women and dumps the body after three days."

"When was the last body found?" Morgan asked.

"Yesterday," JJ replied.

"Meaning the UnSub could already have taken another victim," said Morgan.

"So what do we do?" JJ asked. "Should we wait for the others, or should we leave for Utah?"

"Maybe we should wait a little bit longer-" Reid began, but before he could finish Garcia burst into the room, flustered and out of breath.

"Garcia?" JJ said, confused by the panic on the technical analyst's face. "What's going on?"

"You guys haven't heard the news?" Garcia said. "About the others?"

"Do you know why they haven't shown up yet?" Reid asked quickly, both hope and fear rising inside him.

"Oh, my goodness, my dears, it's horrible!" Garcia exclaimed. "Chief Strauss has suspended Hotch, and Prentiss quit!"

"What about Gideon?" JJ said, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"Nobody knows where he is," Garcia replied, her voice softer now. "He isn't at his apartment, and he isn't answering his phone. He's gone."

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**A/N: So there's the first chapter! What do you guys think- good, bad, meh, better or worse than the first story? Please review guys, I really wanna know how well I started off!**


	2. Gone

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to post the next chapter guys, I got really bad gastro and could eat anything, so I had zero energy. Plus, I finally got Criminal Minds season 5 on DVD, so I was kinda distracted :P I hope it won't take me too long to post the next chapter. Anyways, time to read!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.**

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"What?" Reid gasped, his mouth wide open as he stared at Garcia. "What do you mean, he's gone?"

"Like I said, he isn't at home, he's not answering his cell, and nobody else knows where he is," Garcia explained again.

"He's probably at his cabin," Reid said. "That's where he usually goes when he needs to- I should go find him."

Reid began to rise from his seat, but JJ gently pushed him back down. "We don't have time to look for Gideon now, Spence. We have a case to solve."

"Uh, yeah, about that," Garcia stammered, trying to find a way to voice what she needed to say. "Um, you see-"

"Don't tell me they're taking us off the case?" Morgan cried, agitated.

"No, that's not it," Garcia replied. "It's worse than that, I- Chief Strauss is going with you."

"What?" Morgan gasped. "Not only did she suspend our boss, but she saw reason to come on a case with us? Does she even have any field experience?"

"Agent Morgan," said a woman's voice from the doorway. Morgan's expression became pained, as he turned around to see Strauss standing there.

"Chief Strauss," he said. "Forgive me, ma'am, that didn't come out right. I think you realise that the four of us are a little bit shocked right now."

"I understand that the present situation would cause that, Agent Morgan, but you still have a case to solve, don't you?" Strauss said, a hint of menace in her voice.

"Of course, ma'am," Morgan said, barely managing to keep his tone civil.

"Therefore, I will be heading with the three of you to Salt Lake City," Strauss declared. "And yes you are correct, Agent Morgan- I don't have any field experience. Which is why you'll be in charge today."

Morgan raised his eyebrows and his mouth fell open slightly in shock. "_Me_?" he gasped. "You're putting me in charge?"

"Of course I am," Strauss said matter-of-factly. "There are only three members of your team remaining. Agent Jareau is not a profiler, and you have more experience than Agent Reid. You are definitely the best option."

Morgan looked like he wanted to say something else, but decided against it. It was definitely not a good idea to get Strauss mad given their current situation. "Very well," he said instead. "Wheels up in thirty."

Morgan cast a look at Reid and JJ before gathering his file and walking out of the room, Chief Strauss right behind him.

Now left alone in the room, JJ and Reid just looked at each other, their faces identical expressions of panic and worry.

"What are we going to do know?" Reid asked.

"I don't know," JJ said, "but we are going to have to be so careful. One wrong move, and Morgan and Garcia will be the only ones left in the BAU."

"That means I can't even hold you," Reid sighed, his eyes flickering towards the door to make sure Strauss was not returning.

"I know, Spence," JJ said. "I know that's what you need right now- it's what I need to. But we can't, not with Strauss watching our every move. We just can't."

"What are we going to do?" Reid repeated.

Reid looked so confused, so lost, that JJ longed to wrap her arms around him and hold him tight. "We'll figure this out, Reid," JJ whispered. "Don't worry." She took a step closer to Reid, yearning to close the distance between them. "We won't let this come between us, okay? It will not destroy _us_."

Reid gave JJ a small smile. "I know. We've been through enough already, haven't we?" He slipped his messenger bag over his head, and walked towards the door. "Come on," he said. "We don't want to be late."

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The mood on the jet was definitely very icy. Reid, JJ and Morgan sat together, away from Strauss. "You know from this angle, she almost looks human," JJ whispered.

Morgan was about to reply, but Strauss rose from her seat and came over to them. "Shouldn't we be discussing the case?" she said, sitting down beside JJ.

JJ sighed, but launched into the same description of the case she had already given Morgan and Reid. Strauss wouldn't leave them alone for the rest of the flight, so whenever they weren't discussing the case they sat in silence. Reid and JJ were afraid to even look at each other on the plane- they could only sneak very brief glances when they were absolutely sure that Strauss wasn't looking. Both Reid and JJ craved more than ever before to lie in each other's arms, and share their soft, sweet kisses. Sadly, they knew that wouldn't be happening for a while.

When they arrived in Salt Lake City, it didn't take long for Strauss to anger the lead detective by telling him they should've called in the FBI sooner. JJ had pulled Strauss aside, only to earn a swift rebuke from the Section Chief. JJ walked away quickly, a slightly hurt expression on her face.

"Are you okay?" Reid asked, falling into step beside her.

"I- yeah," JJ replied. "But how could the others do this to us? How could they leave us with _her_? We're not going to be able to solve this case with her breathing down our necks and upsetting the police like this!"

JJ and Reid had by now reached the small room that had been set aside for them. "JJ, calm down, please," Reid said soothingly. "You can't let her get to you like this."

"And why shouldn't I let her get to me?" JJ demanded. "She's- she's just horrible!"

"JJ, please," Reid whispered. "Please be strong. For me?"

JJ stopped ranting, looking at Reid properly. He'd managed to stay composed since Strauss had walked into the meeting room back at the BAU, but now he was letting his panic, fear and worry show on his face again. JJ felt guilty- she'd been too busy getting angry at Strauss, forgetting about how Reid must be feeling right now.

"Oh, Spence, I'm sorry," JJ said, her expression and voice softening. "I completely forgot, I'm so sorry." Reid didn't usually let his feelings show like this, even to JJ. If he was letting them show, it meant he was really and truly worried.

"You don't need to be sorry, Jayje," Reid assured her. "I don't blame you for being mad at Strauss."

"But I was too busy getting mad at Strauss, and I wasn't thinking about how _you_ must be feeling right now," JJ pointed out.

"We've already lost Gideon, and Hotch and Prentiss," Reid said. "I- I can't lose you too."

"Oh, Spencer…" JJ couldn't take it anymore. She stepped forward and hugged Reid close to her. There wasn't anything really romantic about the gesture- it was just a comforting hug between friends.

"Hey guys, I-" Morgan began, opening the door to the room. He stopped when he saw JJ and Reid and stared at them. "What's going on?"

JJ and Reid sprang apart instantly, Reid looking embarrassed. "Morgan! We we're just, um…"

"Spencer's just really worried about Gideon and the others," JJ supplied. "He really needed someone to comfort him, something to take his mind off of them."

"Well I've got something," Morgan said. "They've found another body."

JJ and Reid looked at each other, all worries about their team forgotten as they switched instantly into work mode. "His timeline is escalating," Reid said. "He only kept this victim for one day."

"Definitely," Morgan agreed. "We need to stop this one quickly, before the body count grows. Reid, you and I are going to go out to the crime scene and have a look around. JJ, I am really sorry to do this to you, but I want you to take Strauss and go talk to the victim's family, see what you can find out about her."

"It's okay, Morgan, I understand," JJ assured him. "We need you two out on the crime scene, not her. And talking to families is what I do best."

"Thanks, JJ," Morgan said. "Let's go."

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It had definitely been a long day. While Strauss had been a little more compassionate with the victim's family, she'd still been her usual snappish and rude self. If JJ hadn't been so kind and understanding, she doubted they'd have been able to talk to the family at all. The only thing Morgan and Reid had found at the crime scene was that the UnSub had just left the body lying in front of the dumpster, not even bothering to throw her in.

Morgan, Reid and JJ were gathered at the hotel, standing in the corridor outside their rooms. Strauss had already gone into her room, with nothing more than a brusque "be in the lobby by seven thirty".

The three agents stood huddled together, standing in front of the wall between JJ and Reid's rooms. "Garcia's been calling the other three," Morgan said. JJ and Reid didn't need to ask who he meant. "Hotch wishes he were here with us, trying to solve this case. Prentiss, of course, is no longer an FBI agent. Garcia said that she wouldn't tell her why she quit, but it sounded like she felt she _had_ to, not that she wanted to. She's taking the foreign service exam."

"What?" JJ gasped. "But Prentiss would _not_ like that; she hates the politics that brings. That's why she loves working with us!"

"That's exactly what Garcia tried to tell Prentiss, but she wouldn't listen," said Morgan. "And Gideon, well… she still can't get in contact with him."

"So he's just- just disappeared? Just walked out on us?" Reid said in a small voice. Morgan and JJ both looked at him, concerned.

"Kid, I…" Morgan began, and then he stopped. He had no idea what to say.

"Go to bed, Derek, get some rest," JJ suggested. "I'll make sure he's okay."

Morgan looked unsure, but nodded and headed into his own room. JJ went to Reid's room and paused with her hand on the doorknob. "Come inside, Spencer," she whispered. She pushed open the door and walked in, Reid looking like his mind was elsewhere.

JJ closed the door behind them and turned to face Reid. "Please, stop worrying Spence," she said.

"I'm not worried," Reid argued, but JJ knew that wasn't true. His expression told a whole other story.

"You were never a very good liar," JJ joked, taking Reid's hand. "It will be okay. Hotch will get his job back, and Prentiss will change her mind."

"It's not them I'm worried about," Reid said.

"I know," JJ sighed. "I know. But I'm still here. I'm not leaving you; I'll never leave you."

"That's what I need," Reid said. "I need you so much, JJ. I love you."

JJ smiled. "I love you too, Spencer," she replied. "Are you okay now?"

Reid nodded. "I think so."

"Then I've gotta get to bed," JJ said, turning to leave.

"JJ, wait," Reid said, catching JJ's arm. JJ turned back around to face Reid again. "Stay with me, please."

JJ looked shocked. "What if Strauss catches us?" she asked.

"She won't come in, especially during the night," Reid assured her. "And we'll set the alarm early, so you can get back to your room before Strauss or even Morgan notice."

JJ was hesitant, but she'd never seen Reid deliberately want to break a rule like this before. "Okay," she agreed. "Let me go get changed, and I'll be back."

As soon as JJ left the room, Reid sprang straight to his go bag and pulled out his sweatpants, getting changed instantly. He wanted to be ready as soon as she returned.

That didn't take very long, and soon JJ was slowly and cautiously pushing the door open again.

"Hey, beautiful," Reid said when JJ closed the door behind her. He crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. JJ stood on her toes, reaching up to plant a kiss on Reid's lips. Reid bent down to her, kissing her with more passion.

"You're not normally this direct, Spencer," JJ commented when they broke apart.

"I really need this," Reid explained. "I really need _you_."

"I need you too," JJ said. "This… it's hard. Trying to keep this relationship a secret, then we lose three members of our team, and now Strauss is here… But knowing I have you waiting for me, it makes me feel so much better."

Reid smiled and kissed JJ again, before pulling away from JJ and going over to his bed. "Come lie with me," he said.

JJ didn't have to think twice; she instantly went over to Reid, lying under the sheets with him. Reid planted a soft, tender kiss to her forehead. "I love you, JJ."

"I love you too, Spencer," JJ replied, snuggling into Reid chest. Reid held her close, praying that he'd never have to let her go as the two of them absorbed each other's warmth and love, before slowly falling asleep.

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**A/N: Those two are so beautiful together, don't ya think? And I kinda really don't like Strauss, but I'm pretty sure you guys noticed that! :P Anyways, as always, please, please review cos it's makes me feel totally awesome!**


	3. Nightmare

**A/N: I apologise that this took soooooo long, but I have had one illness after another lately :( But finally, here's the next chapter! This is pretty much how Reid feels about the others leaving and disappearing. So read on!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.

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Reid slept well for most of the night- as well as he usually did when JJ was lying beside him. As dawn crept closer though, Reid sleep became more fitful and restless. And what he so was so vivid, so _real_, he couldn't believe he was dreaming.

_Reid was lying on the floor of a pitch-black room. He couldn't see anything around him, and he was alone. Totally alone. Or so he thought._

_Aaron Hotchner and Emily Prentiss appeared before Reid, just standing there, smiling at him. Reid's face broke into an expression of relief, and he tried to walk towards them. But he couldn't. There was an invisible wall between him and his two teammates, and he couldn't get to them._

"_Hotch! Prentiss!" Reid called out, trying to catch their attention. "Hotch! Emily!" The two agents continued to stand still, not even reacting to Reid calling out. He tried to push through to them, and continued to call out their names, but to no avail. Eventually he gave up, out of breath._

"_What are you doing?" Reid managed to get out in between breaths. "Why can't I get to you? Why aren't you here?"_

"_Because we're leaving you, Reid," Hotch and Prentiss chorused in chilling voices._

"_What?" Reid gasped. "But why?"_

"_Because we don't care about you at all," Prentiss replied, still in that chilling voice. "We never have."_

"_You were always that whiny little kid to me," Hotch said. "Not even able to fire a gun properly… too young to be in the FBI, too young to be in the BAU, and not good enough to be a _real _FBI field agent."_

"_You're always the kid in the back room no one really notices or cares about, the one who gives all the facts to the important people, who then do _all _the important work," Prentiss added. "None of us ever liked your facts, Reid. You were always just annoying- the most annoying person I have ever met."_

"_Getting suspended was a blessing in disguise," Hotch continued. "Now I don't have to put up with you every day."_

"_And I definitely made the right decision in quitting," said Prentiss. "I'd rather deal with the politics of foreign service than with you."_

"_How… how could you say such a thing?" Reid stammered, confused and hurt._

"_Because it's true," Prentiss and Hotch said in unison. "Goodbye, Spencer Reid. We hope we never see you again."_

_The figures of Hotch and Prentiss slowly retreated, until they were no longer there. "No!" Reid cried out, and the barrier finally broke. He tried to run towards them, but they were already gone. Then another figure appeared. Gideon._

"_Gideon," Reid breathed. "Gideon, where are you?"_

"_I'm right here, Spencer," Gideon replied. "Right in front of you."_

_Reid reached out to touch Gideon, but his hand went right through him, like a ghost. "No, you're not," Reid said. "You're not here."_

"_You're right. I'm not here," Gideon agreed. "I've had enough of all of it. The job, and everything that goes with it."_

"_Even me?" Reid whispered, almost afraid to hear the answer._

"_Yes," Gideon said, speaking in that same chilling voice as Hotch and Prentiss. "Even you. Especially you."_

"_But- but you care about me. You brought me into the BAU!" Reid protested._

"_I was only using your for your brain," Gideon said. "I never really cared about you- I only wanted you to trust me, so you'd work for me, do anything I say. Luckily, I won't have to do that anymore."_

"_Gideon… please…" A single tear rolled down Reid's cheek._

"_Aw, the kid's finally showing his age!" Gideon said mockingly. "You were always just the runt to us, kid. The annoying runt, who had nothing but facts. How long do you reckon it will take JJ to realise that, and leave you?" JJ appeared behind Gideon then- she appeared shadowy, not solid like Gideon did._

"_No," Reid said. "No. JJ won't leave me. Not after what we went through."_

"_She's going to leave you, Spencer," Gideon declared. "She's not going to stay with you. Why would _anyone_ want to stay with you?"_

_As soon as Gideon finished speaking, the figure of JJ faded until she disappeared, a twisted, teasing smirk on her face. "No…" Reid repeated, his voice and his heart broken. "She wouldn't leave. Why would she leave me?"_

"_Because she doesn't love you," Gideon answered. "None of us do. That's why I'm leaving too." Gideon disappeared as well, and Reid was alone. Totally alone. He fell to his knees, the tears falling thick and fast from his eyes now._

"_No…" he continued to moan, his sobs getting louder and louder. "No… No… _No!_"_

_Then a noise, so soft at first that Reid thought he hadn't really heard it, broke through Reid's sobs. It was so low Reid couldn't make out what it was, but it got louder and louder until Reid could make out what it was. It was a voice. A female voice- a voice Reid loved. And as it got even louder still, Reid could make out was it was saying. The voice was whispering his name. "Spencer… Spencer. Spencer, wake up, please."_

_Why was she telling him to wake up? Reid wasn't asleep, was he? "Spencer! Spencer, it's me, please wake up! Please, it's okay, I'm here!"_

Reid suddenly jolted back to awareness, and realised that the sheets on the bed had been thrown around, and that someone was holding him down. He fought against those restraints for a moment, but then that female voice spoke to him again. "Spencer, it's alright! It's me, JJ!"

Reid stopped fighting, and looked up at the woman. Sure enough, it was JJ, looking at him with concern. "JJ…" he breathed. "It really is you. You're here."

"Of course it's me," JJ said, confused. "Why wouldn't I be here?"

"But I thought… I thought…" Reid's eyes began to prickle, and he attempted in vain to hold the tears back. Realising his efforts were futile, Reid let the tears fall, running down his cheeks and staining his face.

"Oh, Spencer…" JJ pulled Reid into a sitting position and wrapped her arms around him. At first Reid did nothing, he just remained motionless as JJ held him to her. Then he whispered her name, and his head was on her shoulder. His tears were running down his cheeks and onto her bare skin, but JJ didn't care. All she cared about was comforting Reid.

After a while, JJ spoke. "Did you have a nightmare?" she asked gently.

Reid lifted his head from JJ's shoulder, wiping away the last of his tears, and nodded. "It was stupid, I know. But it was a nightmare," he answered.

"It wasn't stupid; please don't think that," JJ said. "Everybody has nightmares. All of us. Even me."

Reid looked at JJ, shocked. "You? But you're so strong, so brave. What could you possibly have nightmares about?"

"I'm also the most emotionally involved, Spencer," JJ pointed out. "I have plenty to have nightmares about- I've had plenty about being wrong on a case, more victims winding up dead. But lately, if I've had a nightmare at all, they've been about you. About you leaving me. About you… dying."

"Jayje…" Reid had no idea what to say to that. "I'm not going anywhere. It's… it's _you_ I'm afraid is going to leave."

"Me? Leave?" JJ was confused. "Why would I do that?"

"It's what I dreamed about," Reid confessed. "You leaving… and that Hotch, Prentiss and Gideon left because of me. Because they don't want to put up with me anymore."

"I'm not going to leave you, Spencer," JJ promised. "I am never, _ever_, going to leave you. Do you understand?" Reid didn't respond, so JJ just stared him down until he nodded at her. "I love you, Spencer Reid. It was just a dream. That's all. Just a dream."

"Yeah, I know," Reid sighed. "It's just… you know I have issues, JJ. Abandonment is definitely the biggest one."

JJ leaned forward and kissed Reid gently. "How about we both agree that we're never going to leave each other, all right?"

"How do you know?" Reid asked.

"What?"

"How do you know you'll never leave me?" Reid asked again.

"Because I can't imagine my life without you anymore," JJ answered. "I've tried, just to see if it's possible, but I- I can't. It hurts me too much- it kills me to imagine my life without you in it. That's how I know."

"Jayje…"

"Spence, let me finish," JJ said. "I need you to trust me. I need you to believe _every_ word I just said, because they are all true. Do you understand?"

"I already trust you; I always have. It would take something truly massive for that to change. It's me I don't trust," Reid admitted. JJ began to speak, but Reid held up a hand to stop her. "I don't trust myself to not stuff this up. I don't trust myself to stay on the right path anymore. I don't trust myself to be everything you want."

"But I trust you," JJ declared. "I trust you to not stuff this up. I trust you to- in fact I know you will- stay on the right path. And you already are everything I want, just by being you."

Reid didn't say anything- he just took JJ into his arms and held her to him. JJ didn't try to speak, and she didn't try to make Reid speak; him holding her was answer enough.

It was a long moment that the two of them remained in that position, only jolting apart when Reid's alarm went off. "Guess that means you have to go back to your room, before we get caught," Reid sighed.

"Or I could always stay here and let Morgan find us," JJ suggested playfully. "It wouldn't be such a bad thing if he found out about us."

"It probably wouldn't," Reid agreed, "but there is always the chance that Strauss could find us. You need to get back to your own room and get dressed. I'll go see if the coast is clear." He gave JJ a quick, soft kiss before getting up from his bed and opening the door slightly. "There's no one out here," he whispered. "Quick, go now."

JJ leapt lightly from Reid's bed and quickly moved towards the door, pausing only to give him one last, quick kiss. "I love you," she said to him.

"I love you too," Reid murmured, before JJ quickly darted out of the room and he closed the door behind her.

Almost as soon as JJ left the room, Reid good mood faded. He let out a sad sigh and walked back over to his bed, slumping down onto it with his head in his hands. JJ's words had reassured him that she wasn't going to leave- at least for the time being- but they hadn't done anything to his thoughts about Prentiss, Hotch or Gideon. Admittedly he'd barely mentioned them, and he'd been too focused on the thought of losing JJ, but now his dream about the others had come to the fore.

Reid had long thought he was a burden on the team- the only reason he was there was his intelligence, after all. If it weren't for that, he wouldn't have lasted very long in the Academy. He'd failed pretty much every physical test there had been, and he'd barely passed his firearms qualification. In fact, Reid remembered while pulling his clothes out of his go bag and getting dressed, he had failed once since then. The team had relied on him, but they'd also had to carry him through. Was it too much to think that they'd finally gotten sick of him?

As Reid reached back into his go bag for his tie, something else slipped out and he picked it up. It was a picture of the entire team, taken less than a month ago, after Reid had admitted his problems to JJ and let her help him. They all looked so happy, every single one of them. Reid and JJ sat next to each other in the photo, as close as they could get without drawing suspicions. Even so, they were gravitating towards each other subconsciously. If someone on the team looked closely enough at the picture- really, _really_ close- they could probably see how the two youngest agents felt about each other.

_So happy,_ Reid thought to himself as he gazed down at the picture. Then why had they left?

Suddenly, there was a knock on Reid's door. "Hey, kid!" Morgan called. "You ready? It's time to go, Strauss is waiting!"

"I'm coming!" Reid yelled back, quickly putting his tie over his neck and tightening it. He took one last, wistful look at the photograph of the team, before tossing it on his bed and walking out of his room to join Morgan.

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**A/N: So there you go! Reid is blaming himself for Hotch, Gideon and Prentiss leaving... what's JJ going to do about that?  
So time to review, I really love to hear what you guys think! And who knows, maybe reviews have healing powers? :P **


	4. He Isn't Coping

**A/N: Finally time for a new chapter! This one is a _little _shorter than normal, just under 2,000 words, but hopefully it's still pretty good! There's not really any romance in this chapter- in fact it features one Derek Morgan even more than Reid and JJ.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.

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**

"You okay, kid?" Morgan asked Reid, after an uncharacteristic silence. The two of them were sitting in a Bureau SUV, on their way to visit one of the crime scenes while JJ and Strauss had gone to the local precinct to set up shop. Reid had only spoken to Morgan when spoken to, and even then he'd given very short answers- nothing like his usual longwinded explanations.

"I'm fine," Reid replied shortly, pretending to be reading through a case file.

"C'mon, this is me you're talking to," Morgan pointed out. "I'm not exactly the easiest person to lie to."

"You don't have to worry about me, Morgan," said Reid. "I really am fine."

"Reid, I saw your reaction yesterday when you found out about the others. You're really quiet this morning, which is definitely not like you. And I heard you screaming this morning. So tell me. What's really going on?" Morgan pulled up at a red light, turning to fix Reid with a probing stare.

"I had a nightmare, that's all," Reid answered. "Nothing big."

"A nightmare about a case?" Morgan guessed.

Reid shook his head. "No," he replied in a small voice, not looking at Morgan. "It was, well, about the others. About why they left."

Suspicion began to creep into Morgan's mind. He had a horrible idea that he knew what Reid's meant. "And why did they leave? In your dream?" Morgan asked, as he began driving again.

"Because of me," said Reid, looking down at his hands.

"Oh, Reid…" Morgan pulled over on the side of the road, and turned to look at Reid properly. "You know that's not true."

"Yeah, that's what JJ said," Reid said in a flat voice.

"JJ?" Morgan repeated, confused. "When did you have a chance to talk to JJ alone?"

Reid mentally cursed himself. Like the rest of the team, Morgan had no idea about Reid and JJ's relationship, and therefore him knowing about JJ being in Reid's room was a really bad idea. Reid had definitely slipped up by letting that piece of information out.

"I, uh… well, she heard me screaming, like you did, only she came in to try and calm me down," Reid stammered. He wasn't going to tell Morgan that JJ had been in his room the entire night, or that he had also dreamed about _her_ leaving. Morgan couldn't know.

"It always seems to be JJ helping you out, doesn't it?" Morgan pointed out.

"Yeah, well, she is my best friend," Reid replied. "And she's good like that, it's just what she does."

"It was her that helped you with your… other problems?" Morgan asked.

Reid nodded. He knew exactly what Morgan was talking about; while he'd never told the team about his battle with drug addiction, Reid had long suspected that they'd known anyway. "Yeah, it was. She… she knows me, Morgan. Sometimes even better than I know myself."

"You guys are close," Morgan remarked. Reid didn't reply; he just looked down at the case file again.

"We really should get back to work, Morgan," said Reid. "Or Strauss isn't going to be happy."

Morgan nodded and pulled away from the curb again, but his mind was not on the case. It was on the young genius beside him, knowing what he must be thinking and feeling right now. He was also worried about Reid- insanely worried. The last time Reid had felt so messed up, just over a month ago, he'd turned to- Morgan didn't even want to think its name. He hated what it had done to his best friend, his brother. They could've destroyed his life, if it hadn't been for JJ and the rest of the team rallying around him. And now, with three members of the team gone… something needed to be done.

It was an hour or so later when Morgan and Reid joined JJ and Strauss at the Salt Lake City Police Department, having finished at the crime scene. They hadn't learned anything new there; they'd just reaffirmed the UnSub's extreme hatred of women.

The two men had walked into the building to find Strauss sitting at the long meeting table, examining the evidence with her usual calculating stare. JJ was standing a little way away, talking with the lead detective. Morgan and Reid glanced over at Strauss before walking over to the other two.

"That woman is something else," the officer, Detective Robert Taylor, remarked.

"I'm sorry about her," said Morgan instantly. "Three members of our team aren't able to be here with us, so she decided that she was coming. She's our Section Chief, so she's part of the politics of the FBI. She doesn't have field experience."

"I could tell," said Detective Taylor. "She's not really that… tactful when dealing with the victims'' families- or anyone else, for that matter."

"Oh, believe me, we know," JJ agreed. "She's not that fond of us, either."

Morgan looked over at Reid, who had remained silent throughout the exchange. His face was impassive, but Morgan knew the turmoil that was going on inside the younger man's mind.

"Hey, JJ, can I talk to you for a moment?" Morgan asked quietly, but Reid had either not heard him or had chosen not to react. JJ looked confused, but followed Morgan when he walked out of the precinct and a little way away.

"What is it, Morgan?" JJ asked, her confusion still evident on her face.

"I'm worried about Reid," Morgan admitted. "He was so quiet in the car- I mean, he wasn't even spouting random facts! He's blaming himself."

JJ sighed. "I know," she said, "and I'm trying to help him, but I don't know if I can do it myself this time. I could barely convince him that _I _wasn't going to leave him."

"He thought _you_ were going to leave him?" Now it was Morgan's turn to be confused. "Why would you do that?"

JJ mentally cursed herself- she couldn't believe that she'd slipped up like that. "Well, I am his best friend, Derek. And I was there for him to turn to last time- he's afraid that if I'm not there, he won't be able to cope at all."

Morgan turned his head and looked through the window into the precinct, to where Strauss had approached Reid and Detective Taylor and was now talking to them. "You go back inside- I don't think dealing with Strauss alone is going to help Reid," Morgan told JJ.

"What are you going to do?" JJ asked.

"Hopefully something that will help the kid," Morgan replied. When she realised he wasn't going to say anymore, JJ turned and headed back inside the precinct to join Reid. Morgan, on the other hand, pulled out his phone and pressed number four on his speed dial. A male voice answered. "Morgan?" said the voice. "Why are you calling me?"

"We need your help, man," answered Morgan. "Badly."

"I can't help you with the case," the voice informed Morgan disapprovingly.

"It's not the case we need help with," Morgan said quickly. He knew by the silence on the other end that the man was listening. "It's Reid. He's- well, he's not coping. He was sleeping in the room between JJ and I, and he woke up screaming. He had a nightmare, and he can't stop blaming himself and believing that it's his fault everyone left."

"But it's not," the man protested.

"He doesn't know that," Morgan countered. "And this is Reid we're talking about- is it really such a stretch that he thinks that?"

The man on the other end of the phone fell silent again, thinking. "What do you want me to do?" he asked. "I can't very well drop everything and come there."

"When does your suspension end?" Morgan queried.

"It- well it ends tomorrow, but I-" the man stopped speaking, his voice caught, unable to continue.

"But what? Surely you could fly out to us tomorrow!" Morgan cried.

"It's not that simple," the voice pleaded. "If I come back, she'll- we'll-"

"What, you're afraid of Strauss now?"

"Not _Strauss_," the voice stressed. Suddenly, Morgan understood.

"Well, you don't have to come then," Morgan said. "But Reid's whole life is at stake here. He's falling apart again, man. If we're not careful, he's gonna turn to drugs again. And this time, I don't think JJ's going to be enough to catch him as he falls."

"Morgan…"

"At least convince _her_ to come back, and not to quit," Morgan spat. "You know perfectly well who I mean." And then he hung up the phone, anger filling him. He couldn't believe he didn't want to come back! After all the work he'd put into the team, too… Morgan had thought for sure that when he'd heard how badly Reid was coping, he'd join them instantly. Obviously he didn't really care about Reid- or the rest of the team, for that matter.

Dejected, Morgan headed back inside, to where JJ, Reid, Strauss and Detective Taylor were talking. JJ shot Morgan a look, but he shook his head. She looked back down at the file on the table in front of her, barely managing to contain her sigh.

"What were you doing outside, Agent Morgan?" Strauss asked shortly.

"I was calling someone who I thought could help us," Morgan replied, equally as tersely. "It seems that they can't, however."

"Then it was a waste of time," Strauss stated.

"No, it wasn't," Morgan said. "We know he can't help us."

"Okay then," said Strauss, looking away from Morgan. She had chosen not to take the matter any further, although Morgan could tell she wasn't satisfied, nor did she believe his very vague explanation.

When Morgan had moved over to Strauss and JJ and began talking to all of them, Reid looked at him with a very confused expression on his face. Like Strauss, he wasn't satisfied with Morgan's explanation with what he had been doing outside. Who on earth could he have been calling? And how could they help the team solve this case?

The man Morgan had been talking to on the phone walked up the stairs through the apartment building, towards her apartment. He had thought for a very brief moment of taking the elevator, but decided against it- he needed the exercise, and the extra time to think about what he was going to say and why he was actually doing this.

If he was honest with himself, he knew _exactly_ why he was doing what he was doing. He needed the team and the job, and the team needed him- especially Reid. It had torn at his insides to hear how Reid felt and the guilt that was overwhelming him. How could he be blaming himself for the rest of the team leaving? It was far from his fault.

The man raised his hand to knock on the door, but he hesitated before he could rap on the wood. Did he really want to do this? Was he really going to risk so much to go back?

It only took a moment for him to decide. Of course he was going back- it meant a lot to him to do what he did, and he was risking even more by not going. After a moment more, he knocked on the door.

A young woman with dark-coloured hair opened the door, her eyes widening in shock when she saw who was standing there.

"What are you doing here?" she gasped.

The man sat his bag down at his feet and looked the woman right in the eyes, as if he could see into her soul and read her mind. And perhaps he could- he was a profiler, after all. As was she.

"Prentiss," the man said. He knew her name- in fact, he knew her well. He was her boss, after all. "Prentiss," Agent Aaron Hotchner repeated. "We need to talk."

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**A/N: Well there you go! Love, like, hate, meh? Tell me what you think, I really love to read all of your reviews!**


	5. We Have To Go Back

**A/N: Finally time for a new chapter guys! I'm sorry it took so long, please don't kill me! The last day of this school term is tomorrow, so I should be able to update more quickly! Unless of course I'm working pretty much every day, which is extremely likely... but at least I can stay up late and write, huh? Anyway, on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.**

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Emily Prentiss just stood in her doorway, staring at Hotch with her mouth slightly open. This was the last thing she had expected- she'd quit the Bureau entirely, and he knew it. So why was he here?

Prentiss came back to herself, and realised that Hotch was still standing in there, watching her. "I guess you better come in then," she said, moving out of his way. Hotch stepped into the apartment and Prentiss closed the door behind him, turning to look at him again.

"Why are you here?" she demanded. She didn't try to hide both the confusion and the irritation in her voice. She wished she hadn't had to quit the BAU, but she had. Why did Hotch have to bring it all up again?

"Morgan called me," Hotch announced. "They're on a case, in Salt Lake City."

"And they needed your help?" Prentiss guessed. "Couldn't they have asked Gideon? Surely he knows."

"He's not with them," Hotch replied. Prentiss gasped, her eyes growing wide. "Nobody knows where he is. He's just… gone. It's just Reid, Morgan and JJ on the case. And Chief Strauss."

"Ch-chief Strauss is with them?" Prentiss spluttered. "Why?"

"She wants to keep an eye on the rest of the team, I guess," Hotch answered absently. "I don't really know- but that's not why I'm here. It's Reid."

Panic gripped Prentiss's heart. Not Reid. Not again. "Is he- is he in trouble?" she asked anxiously.

"Morgan's really worried about him, and apparently so is JJ," said Hotch. "He's really withdrawn into himself, and he's having nightmares. About us."

"About us?" Prentiss repeated, confused. "What do you mean?"

"He dreamt about us leaving," said Hotch. "About _why_ we left."

"He's blaming himself," Prentiss realised, feeling slightly sick now. "Of course he is."

"They're afraid he's gonna start using again," Hotch continued. "He hasn't yet- he's just feeling incredibly guilty. But Morgan and JJ are worried that he might if something isn't done."

"Didn't JJ help him last time?" Prentiss pointed out. "Surely she could help him again."

"Morgan said JJ thinks she won't be enough to help Reid this time," Hotch replied. "She's not going to be able to help him alone, or with Morgan's or even Garcia's help. They need us, Prentiss."

"Hotch…" Prentiss's voice caught in her throat. "It makes me _sick_ to think of how Reid's feeling right now, but- I can't go back. I just can't. Even if it was for just one case- that would make leaving even worse."

"I wasn't talking about coming back for one case," Hotch corrected. "I want you back permanently. I myself wasn't going to go back after my suspension ended, but now I-"

"Wait. Hang on a sec," Prentiss interrupted. "_You_ were going to quit? Leave the BAU?"

"Leave the BAU, yes," Hotch said. "But not quit. I was putting in for a transfer."

"But why?" Prentiss wondered. "You love working at the BAU. It's everything to you."

"_I_ wanted to go back as soon as I could. Believe me, Prentiss," Hotch replied earnestly. "It was Hayley. She hates the constant trips and the fact that I'm never there. But I can't just quit the BAU. It's part of who I am." Hotch sounded like he was trying to convince himself now- which he kind of was. He still didn't know whether going back to the BAU was the right thing to do.

"You're doing the right thing, Hotch," Prentiss assured him. "Reid needs you there."

"He needs _both_ of us there," said Hotch.

"I told you, Hotch. I can't go back," said Prentiss. "Especially when-" she cut herself off, afraid of spilling her secret. But she had already said too much.

"Strauss wanted you to be her puppet," Hotch realised. "_That's_ why you just showed up at the BAU, with the paperwork to join the team. _She_ approved the transfer."

Prentiss nodded, looking Hotch at the time. "I didn't know at the time," she said earnestly, hoping Hotch would believe her. "When she told me what she wanted me to do, then I quit. I swear, I didn't tell her anything."

"I believe you, Prentiss," Hotch assured the woman. "If you had told her anything, the team would've been investigated already, and they would've kicked Reid out of the FBI." Hotch didn't need to tell Prentiss why Reid would've lost his job had she spilled secrets to Strauss- she already knew. The reminder of Reid's issues brought his current plight back to Prentiss, and she began to feel guilty again.

"If Strauss is with them on that case, and I go out there…" Prentiss said, trailing off.

"She is with them on the case," said Hotch. "Which is why I think we should wait to go back until the team returns to Quantico."

"What about Reid, though?" Prentiss asked. "What about the time they're still on this case, with him still blaming himself for us leaving?"

"I'm going to call Morgan and tell him we're coming back," answered Hotch. "Then maybe he can assure Reid that all is not lost, without actually telling him that we're coming back to the team. If they know, then Strauss will find out prematurely and make sure that we never come back."

"You seem to be pretty sure that I _am_ coming back," stated Prentiss.

"Aren't you?" said Hotch. Prentiss had no answer for him; she knew he was right. She wanted to come back- she _needed_ to come back, just as much as Reid needed her to. Hotch nodded, seeing her acceptance.

"I'll call you when the team gets back," he said, turning and walking out of her apartment. Prentiss didn't see it, but he had a small smile on his face.

* * *

Back in Salt Lake City, the team was just wrapping up for the day and about to head back to the hotel. Both JJ and Morgan had kept an eye on Reid throughout the day, and while he had worked as hard as he always did, they could still see that something was wrong. They were both glad that he was still contributing, though; if he hadn't been, Strauss would've noticed his behaviour.

The three of them had gathered back in JJ's room after they arrived back at the hotel. Morgan and JJ were sitting next to each other on JJ's bed, while Reid was sitting in a chair a few feet away. He wasn't even looking at the other two; his eyes were focused on the hand on his knee, which was twitching.

"What're we going to do?" Morgan asked.

"About the case, or about our… situation?" said JJ.

"Not the case," Morgan clarified. "We've got a pretty good handle on that. I'm talking about what's going to happen to us when we get back to DC, when Strauss has a chance to really look into the team."

"This isn't going to be easy," JJ realised. "She's not going to just look into Hotch, Prentiss and Gideon. She's going to look into the three of us, and Garcia too."

"Is she going to split us up?" said Reid suddenly, finally looking up at the other two.

"What?" said JJ.

"Is she going to split the team up?" Reid repeated. "She's never liked us; she's always had it out for us. Who's to say she won't use this as an excuse to destroy the team completely?"

Neither Morgan nor JJ had an answer for Reid- they knew he could very well be right. And that hurt them even more, that they couldn't say anything to comfort the already hurting agent.

JJ ached to comfort him though; she rose from her spot on the bed and knelt in front of Reid, taking one of his hands in hers. "Hey, Spence, look at me," she whispered soothingly. "We're not going to give Strauss a reason to split the four of us up, okay? She may try, but she won't succeed."

Reid squeezed JJ's hand and gave her a small smile, but his eyes still showed his sadness and fear. Morgan stared at the two of them, watching how even the smallest touch from JJ could help Reid. He himself smiled; those two were definitely close. Best friends. He was glad that Reid had that- he hadn't had much happiness or anyone that was particularly dear to him in his life. He deserved JJ.

"I'm going to bed," Morgan announced, getting to his feet. "Something tells me we're going to figure out who this UnSub is tomorrow. I'm going to need my wits about me."

"You sure you don't want to stay a little longer, Morgan?" said JJ.

"Nah, it's okay," said Morgan, as he rested his hand on the doorknob. "I'll leave you two alone. I'm tired, anyway. Goodnight, guys."

As soon as Morgan had left the room, JJ and Reid turned to face each other. "Well, that was weird…" JJ said.

A thought struck Reid. "You… you don't think he knows about _us_, do you?" he worried.

"How can he?" said JJ. "We haven't done anything that would make him even a little bit suspicious."

"We did just a few minutes ago," Reid realised. "When you held my hand."

"What's so bad about that?" JJ demanded. "We were best friends long before we were anything more, and friends hold hands sometimes."

"Not me," Reid pointed out. "I'm not big on physical contact; Morgan knows that. Before we became a couple, I hardly ever let anyone touch me, especially when I'm not, well, in the greatest of moods. And especially not since…" Reid trailed off, horrible thoughts crossing his mind. He closed his eyes, hard, trying to will the thoughts and the memories away.

"Spence?" JJ whispered. "Spencer, are you okay?" Reid didn't answer her, so JJ stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. "Hey, Spence, you're not there anymore, okay? He doesn't have you anymore, okay? You're here, with me.

"Jayje…" Reid moaned. "Oh, Jayje…" He hugged JJ tightly, stronger than he ever had before. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"Everything," JJ replied promptly. "Everything about you means you deserve me. I love you."

"I love you too," said Reid. "But you know, we're gonna have to be even more careful now. Strauss is going to come down on us, hard- she's gonna be watching our every move. We can't do anything that will draw her attention to us."

JJ sighed. "Yeah, I know. But to be honest, I don't really care about that right now." JJ leant in and planted a soft kiss on Reid's lips. "I've been wanting to do that all day."

"Me too," Reid admitted. "I'm finding it very hard to resist you at all anymore." Reid kissed JJ back, and his hands moved further and further down her body. A shiver ran down the woman's spine when Reid's hands reached her hips and hovered dangerously close to her ass. "Spence…" she moaned.

Reid pressed his lips to JJ's; again, and again, and again. "Can I… can I lie with you again?" he asked tentatively.

"Definitely," JJ whispered in Reid's ear. She took his hand and led him over to the bed. "There is nothing I want more."

The couple lay down next to each other slowly, never tearing their eyes away. "What if Morgan comes looking for you, or me?" Reid asked, as JJ had the night before.

"Would it really be so bad if Morgan found us, Spence?" JJ whispered as she stroked his cheek.

"What?" Reid gasped. "Do you… want to tell Morgan?"

"That's not what I'm saying," said JJ. "I'm with you, Spence- it is safer to keep our relationship secret. I'm just saying that it wouldn't be so bad if Morgan was the one to find us. And like you said last night, Strauss won't just come in during the night. We don't need to worry."

"Okay," said Reid, and before he could worry about anything else he kissed JJ again, letting himself get lost in the romance. He didn't want to think about anything, unless it was JJ. But as they lay there, side by side, slowly drifting off into sleep, a small corner of Reid's mind couldn't help but think about Hotch, and Prentiss, and Gideon. Would he ever see them again? Would they ever come back?

* * *

As Morgan sat on his bed and removed his shoes and socks, his mind drifted back to Reid and JJ. They had always been close, he knew that. But now that he thought about it properly, there was something… more to their moment earlier. JJ and Reid had always been best friends, and JJ had helped Reid through his past issues, but this was more than that. Had something changed between them?

Before Morgan could dwell on that thought even more, his cell phone rang. Recognising the caller ID, he instantly picked up. "Hello?"

"Morgan, it's Hotch," said the man on the other end. "I talked to her. Prentiss. She's coming back. And so am I."

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**A/N: Yay, Hotch and Prentiss are coming back! Well done Morgan for managing to convince them! But now he's beginning to see that something's going on between Reid and JJ... will he manage to figure it out? Guess you'll have to just wait and see!**

**Time to review, guys, I really wanna hear what you think, you know I love them!**


	6. We're Back For You

**A/N: It's been a very long time coming, but here's a new chapter guys! I never, _ever _abandon a story, so you can rest assured that this one _will_ be finished, and there will most likely be a sequel. But anyway, on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.**

* * *

As soon as Morgan hung up the phone, he wanted to run in and tell Reid and JJ the good news- especially Reid. But he knew he couldn't yet. He and Hotch had already agreed that the two absent agents would not be rejoining the team until they arrived back in Quantico, and they wouldn't tell Reid that they were coming back until then. Besides, something told Morgan that Reid would be asleep; he didn't want to wake the younger agent up when he'd been finding that so hard.

Morgan was definitely glad that Hotch and Prentiss were coming back. He had been afraid that Strauss was going to place her own people in the team so she could control it; in fact he _knew_ she would do that. She'd always had it out for the BAU, and if the others didn't come back she'd have her chance to take over.

Morgan was sincerely glad now that Garcia had been messing with Hotch and Prentiss's files, so his transfer and her resignation hadn't gone through. It would make it that much easier for them to return- in fact, they would return to the team seamlessly, like they had only been on leave or a vacation.

Morgan set his phone back down beside his bed and lay down, closing his eyes. They were coming back. The team would remain in tact. Everything would be fine.

* * *

Morgan had been right about catching the UnSub that morning. They'd found Terrence Prior in an abandoned house separated from the others in the street, so nobody would hear his victims' screams. Prior had had a victim with him when the team and the police had come for him; the woman had been badly beaten but thankfully had been still alive. Strauss had remained behind in the precinct when the team and the police had gone to make arrest- she was a bureaucrat with no field experience, and in this case she seemed to have realised that she needed to let the team handle this.

As soon as they'd boarded the jet, though, Strauss made Reid, Morgan and JJ begin working on their reports about the case. This suited them just fine- there was nothing Reid and JJ wanted more at that moment to hold and kiss each other, and Morgan didn't want to accidentally let slip that Hotch and Prentiss were coming back in the middle of the conversation.

It was late afternoon when they'd finally arrived back at Quantico. The team was silent as they disembarked from the plane, Strauss striding purposefully ahead from the other three. All of them knew that Strauss couldn't wait to get her plans for their team into action, and Morgan felt a kind of vindictive pleasure knowing that she wouldn't be able to. He wondered if Hotch and Prentiss were coming back that day, or if it would be the next day.

Garcia appeared as soon as the elevator doors opened to reveal the team and Strauss. The technical analyst nodded towards Morgan, and he knew instantly that she had been informed (or had possibly found out on her own, knowing her) about Hotch and Prentiss's impending return. Morgan inclined his head ever so slightly but kept his lips pursed, and Garcia instantly understood; she couldn't give anything away, because nobody else present knew the truth.

"I will need to see all of you in your meeting room in twenty minutes," Strauss informed them before marching off.

JJ let out a heavy sigh. "She's got plans for us," she groaned.

Reid grimaced at JJ's words, and Morgan and Garcia glanced at each other, trying hard not to react. They couldn't reveal anything until the time was right. Eventually JJ drifted towards her office and Reid slowly headed for his own desk, leaving Morgan and Garcia alone.

"So you know about Hotch and Prentiss, then," Morgan said to Garcia when they were alone.

The technical analyst nodded, unable to stop a smile from creeping across her face. "Hotch rang and told me," Garcia explained. "I don't know what you said to him, but it definitely worked."

"I mentioned Reid," said Morgan quietly. Garcia looked at him, a confused expression on her face. "He's not coping, baby girl. He's blaming himself for the others leaving."

"But it's not his fault!" Garcia exclaimed.

"I know it's not," Morgan assured her, "but try telling him that. It's exactly like Reid to blame himself for this, and he's not handling it well. I was talking to JJ, and she doesn't think she alone will be enough to help Reid this time. She is so afraid that he'll go back to…" Morgan trailed off, but Garcia knew what he meant. None of them ever wanted Reid to go back to those dark days.

"Let's just be glad that Hotch and Prentiss are coming back," said Garcia. "Maybe they will be able to explain things to him so he stops beating himself up over this, when it's not his fault."

"Speaking of those two, when _are_ they coming back?" Morgan asked.

"They're actually going to be coming in just after our meeting with Strauss starts," Garcia admitted.

"That should be interesting," said Morgan, and both he and Garcia struggled not to laugh. All of them would love to see Strauss put in her place- and the return of Hotch and Prentiss would do just that.

* * *

Strauss was already waiting in the BAU room when Morgan and Garcia arrived for the meeting. JJ walked in with Reid a few moments later, the latter looking rather dejected. The pair sat down next to each other, and JJ cast Reid the briefest of glances before focusing her eyes on Strauss. Morgan had no idea what the look meant- it wasn't one he'd seen on JJ's face before.

As soon as all of the team had settled down, Strauss began speaking. "I assume you all know why we're here," she said. "The departure of Agents Hotchner, Gideon and Prentiss had left a gaping hole in your team, one I intend to fill as soon as possible. Now I would like to have your help in this matter, because I want the new agents to fit in with the rest of the team, but I _will_ be filling the vacancies in your team whether you want me to or not."

JJ and Reid exchanged wary glances; they knew Strauss didn't really want to choose new agents to fit in with the team- she wanted to choose new agents that would take over.

Garcia and Morgan, however, gave each other small smiles that Strauss luckily didn't see. Morgan craned his neck ever so slightly, and saw Hotch and Prentiss enter the bullpen and walk towards the meeting room. It looked like it was time to break the news to the others. "Actually, Chief Strauss, that won't be necessary," Morgan announced. "Two of the three spots have already been filled."

"What?" Strauss gasped, barely managing to contain her anger. "Agent Morgan, you do not have the power or the authority to appoint new agents to this team!"

"No, I know that," said Morgan with a small smile. "And I didn't do that. I was merely saying that two of the vacancies do not need to be filled- because the two agents that held those positions are coming back." Almost as soon as Morgan had finished speaking, the door to the meeting room opened and Hotch and Prentiss walked in.

Strauss just stared at the two agents, her eye popping out of their sockets. JJ gasped, her hand flying to her chest. Reid, however, just looked up, confused.

"What on earth are you two doing here?" Strauss demanded.

"We're here to work, Chief Strauss," Hotch replied. "My transfer and Prentiss's resignation hadn't gone through the system, and we both changed our minds and decided that we wanted to stay with the BAU. So here we are."

"I decided that what I wanted to do is much more important that what _somebody else_ wanted me to do," Prentiss added, casting a glance towards Strauss as she said this.

"We're only here to do our jobs," Hotch said when Strauss just glared at them, fuming.

"I guess you don't need to fill their positions," Morgan told Strauss with a smile. "And we can operate a man down for a while. I guess you don't need to worry about the BAU after all."

Strauss rose to her feet, barely containing her look of anger. "I will still be keeping an eye on you, you can be sure of that," she said before stalking out of the room.

As soon as Strauss had gone, Hotch closed the door behind her and turned to face the team. Garcia immediately leapt from her seat and hugged both Hotch and Prentiss. After a moment's shock, the two of them hugged her back,

"I knew you'd come back!" Garcia exclaimed when she broke away.

"What can I say? You guys are hard to stay away from," said Prentiss with a smile.

"Well I'm glad you're back," said JJ. "We all are. Aren't we, Spence?" Reid gave the briefest of nods, but didn't speak. The team's attention turned to him, concerned. It seemed that Hotch and Prentiss coming back wasn't enough. They'd have to talk to him.

"Hey, Morgan, can you come and look at something for me?" JJ asked, casting Morgan a significant look. Morgan nodded and followed JJ out of the room.

"I have some work to do too, actually," said Garcia, taking the hint from Morgan's look back and following him and JJ out of the room.

Reid didn't seem to notice that he was alone in the room with Hotch and Prentiss until they came to sit by him. Even then, he barely looked up.

"Reid, we need to talk," said Hotch.

"What is there to talk about?" said Reid shortly.

"Reid, we know something's wrong," Hotch told him. "Morgan called us, and he's been talking to JJ. We know you weren't taking our leaving well."

"We just want to tell you something," Prentiss interjected. "Us leaving wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was," Reid murmured under his breath, but both Prentiss and Hotch heard him. "Why else would you leave?" he added in a louder voice. "You probably got sick of me. I don't blame you."

"Reid, if we were sick of you, why would we come back?" Prentiss asked him. Reid was silent, not knowing how to answer. "You weren't the reason we left. You were the reason we came back."

Reid really looked at Prentiss and Hotch now, stunned. "Really?" he gasped. "Really?"

Hotch and Prentiss both smiled. "Definitely," said Hotch. "I was going to transfer because Haley was going to make me, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave the team, or you."

"And I was only quitting because Strauss wanted me to be her puppet," Prentiss added, causing Reid to raise his eyebrows. "And I wasn't going to do that. But Morgan called Hotch, and Hotch came to me, and I realised as well that I couldn't leave you and the others. I just couldn't."

"Thanks, guys," said Reid sincerely. "Thank you for coming back, and thank you for explaining everything to me. Really." He gave them a genuine smile before he left the room.

As soon as he'd left the meeting room, Reid headed for JJ's office. She was in there alone, working on some paperwork. Reid knocked lightly on the doorframe to let her know he was there. JJ looked up, and beamed at Reid when she saw how happy he looked. "You look happier," she commented.

"I am," said Reid, coming further into the room. "Hotch and Prentiss… they explained everything to me. I know why they were going to leave now."

"So you know it wasn't because of you?" JJ said, gesturing for Reid to take the seat in front of her desk.

Reid nodded, sitting down as he did so. "Yeah, I do now," he replied. He hesitated a moment before speaking again. "They also told me you spoke to Morgan."

JJ looked at Reid, unsure of how he would react. "Yeah, I did," she admitted. "I- I hope that wasn't crossing any boundaries or anything…"

"JJ," Reid whispered, reaching across the desk and covering JJ's hand with his. "You're my girlfriend. You were worried about me. Of _course_ you weren't crossing any boundaries. You had every right to talk to Morgan about that."

JJ gave Reid a warm smile. "I'm glad you think that way," she said. "I was just worried about you. I- I remember how you were before, and I don't want you to go back to that." JJ didn't need to say exactly what she meant- Reid knew, and he was grateful to JJ for not saying it out loud. He didn't want those dark days on his mind right now. "I love you, Spence," JJ added.

"I love you too, Jayje," Reid whispered. "Now I'm gonna get back to work, before someone comes in here and starts asking us questions." Reid stood up, and was almost out of the room before JJ spoke again.

"Spencer!" she called. Reid stopped and turned around. "Come over to my house later, yeah?"

Reid smiled and nodded. "Of course," he said, leaving JJ's office. He smiled to Morgan and Prentiss as he sat down at his desk and began to tackle his paperwork. He was definitely a lot happier than he had been that week. He was in a good mood… for now.

* * *

**A/N: I love JJ, isn't she awesome? And I hope all of you saw the news that AJ Cook is returning, because that is the best thing I've heard all year! :)  
So what did you think of the chapter, love, hate, meh? Tell me what you think! **


	7. I'm Ready For You

**A/N: I am so, so sorry it's taking me _so_ long to post, but I've had a lot on my plate and I had writer's block like you wouldn't believe. Try as I might, I just could not figure out what to write for this chapter. Took me a while to come up with this, but I think it works with what I have planned.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.**

* * *

JJ had been gone for almost an hour by the time Reid finally put down his pen, finished with his paperwork for the day. Morgan looked over at Reid from his own desk and grinned.

"You took your sweet time today, kid," he laughed. Normally Reid would be finished hours before Morgan and Prentiss were even close, but Reid had had thoughts of a certain woman on his mind.

"I still finished before you did," Reid retorted, gesturing towards the still-uncompleted stack of files on Morgan's desk.

Morgan gave an exaggerated grimace in agreement with Reid's words. "I'm gonna be here all night…" he groaned.

Over at her own desk, Prentiss smirked as she finished her last file. This, the banter between the team, was what she would've missed the most if she had left. They were like a family. No, they _were_ a family. "Aw, poor Morgan here all by himself!" she teased.

Morgan sighed, looking between his paperwork and the door before making a decision and dropping his pencil onto his desk. "I give up," he announced. "I can't concentrate anymore. I'm either going to leave this until the morning, or slip it onto Reid's desk when he isn't looking."

"Hey!" Reid exclaimed, affronted. "It's your paperwork- you should do it!"

"Oh, come on, Reid," Prentiss laughed. "We do it all the time."

"I know you do," Reid sighed, but then a slight smirk appeared on his face. "And I still finished before you guys. Although that might have something to do with the fact that whenever you slip me your files, JJ gives you two extras when _you're_ not looking."

Prentiss and Morgan were shocked by Reid's words; they had no idea that JJ had been doing that. "Seriously?" said Morgan. "Why does she do that?"

"I don't know," said Reid absently, knowing full well the answer to that question. "She feels sorry for me when you give me extra files, I guess." In his head Reid added, _She does it because she cares, and she doesn't find it fair that I always ending doing more work than you two. She does it because she loves me_.

Prentiss shook her head. "Ah, our JJ," she said wistfully. "Well since you're done, Morgan, you up for hitting a club?"

Morgan grinned. "Why Prentiss, I thought you'd never ask." He turned to look at Reid. "What about you, pretty boy?" he asked. "You wanna join us?"

"Nah," Reid answered, shaking his head. "I don't think I will."

"I'm sure Garcia will be joining us, too," Prentiss added. "And you never come out with us, Reid."

"I know I don't," Reid agreed, "And usually it's because clubs aren't my thing. But I have plans tonight."

"Come on, Reid, what's your real reason for not joining us?" Morgan pressed.

"I'm serious, Morgan," said Reid, and his two fellow agents could tell by his face that he was. "I honestly have plans tonight."

"Well, well, pretty boy," Morgan chuckled. "Who's the lucky lady?"

Reid blanched. "N-n-no, nothing like that!" he stammered quickly. "I'm not just going out with some random woman!"

Prentiss laughed. "Come on, Morgan, leave him alone," she chided. "This is Reid we're talking about, after all. He wouldn't do something like that. Now you, on the other hand…"

"Oh ouch, Prentiss," said Morgan jokingly, putting a hand over his heart. "That one hurt!" He turned back to face Reid. "So you're not coming with us, then?"

Reid shook his head. "Sorry, Morgan," he replied. "Have fun, though." And with his mind clearly on other things, Reid slung his messenger bag over his shoulder and walked out of the bullpen.

"You ever get the feeling he's keeping something from us?" Prentiss asked Morgan once Reid had left.

Morgan laughed. "This is Reid we're talking about, Prentiss. Do you think he could really keep something like that from us? We are profilers, after all."

"Touché, my friend," said Prentiss. "I'll go get Garcia, 'kay?" As Prentiss walked away towards Garcia's lair, Morgan really thought about her question. He hadn't been totally honest when he had answered her. It _was_ difficult for Reid to lie to them- but he wasn't lying to them. He just wasn't saying anything.

When Morgan really looked back, he realised that Reid _had_ been acting differently lately. It wasn't like after he'd been kidnapped, when the team had known he was heading downhill. Morgan knew that there was nothing wrong- but he also knew that something had changed in Reid's life. And he was beginning to have an idea of what that something might be.

* * *

Reid drove into JJ's driveway about twenty minutes later, his body thrumming with a strange feeling of nervous anticipation. He didn't know what, but he knew that something was going to happen that night. The feeling had been dogging him ever since JJ had left work that day, and he knew that it wasn't going to leave him alone- just as he knew that that night was going to be big.

That familiar feeling of happiness and warmth filled Reid when the front door opened and he caught sight of JJ's beaming face. "What took you so long?" she said with a smile.

"I had to finish my paperwork," Reid replied, stepping into the house and wrapping his arms around JJ. "And Morgan and Prentiss waylaid me, tried to talk me into going to a club with them and JJ."

"And you didn't go with them?" said JJ, slowly snaking her arms around Reid's waist.

"I had a much better offer, actually," Reid smiled, lowering his face towards JJ's and kissing her softly. "I've spent the last few days, while we were in Salt Lake City, worrying about Hotch, Prentiss, and Gideon, thinking that I was the reason they left. That was stupid, I know- I know now that they'd never leave this job because of me. I should never have thought that they did, it was just after everything I went through, and then that dream, I-"

"Spence, stop!" said JJ, looking Reid in the eye and cutting off his rambling. "Yes, you shouldn't have been blaming yourself, because it wasn't your fault and it never would be. But I don't blame you, after everything you went through. You were still so _raw_, still recovering properly, so for them to leave… and then you had that dream. But they're back, and I'm never leaving. So you have nothing to worry about."

Reid smiled and stepped even closer to JJ, kissing her again. "I know that now," he said. "You're not going to leave me."

"I'm not going to leave you," JJ confirmed with certainty. "I'm never going to leave you." The couple kissed again. And kissed, and kissed, and kissed… Reid found himself unable to stop, unable to remove his lips from JJ's for any reason other than to catch his breath, and even then for only the briefest of seconds. He had one hand in the small of her back, and one in her sweet-smelling hair… JJ pressed herself again Reid, wanting him. _Needing_ him.

Reid's hands slowly drifted from their positions, stopping at JJ's stomach. He then slowly and cautiously slid them under her shirt, feeling her soft delicate skin.

JJ froze, when she felt Reid's touch on her bare skin. Reid had _never_ done this before, never gone this far… never been so close to her.

Reid looked down into JJ's eyes. "If you… if you want me to stop, you can just tell me," he whispered.

"I don't want you to stop," said JJ instantly. Reid stared at her for a moment, starting into her eyes, seeing her sincerity starting back at him. "Take my shirt off me," she whispered to him. Reid hesitated a moment before doing what JJ had suggested, his movements slow but sure. Soon her shirt was over her head, and had been lightly tossed to one side. Reid was drinking in the look of her, like he would never see this again. Sure they had changed in front of each other, but Reid had never really _looked_.

Suddenly JJ reached forward and removed Reid's tie, tossing it aside before quickly working on his vest. When her hands found the buttons of his shirt, she paused. "Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?" she said. Reid nodded, and JJ began to ever so slowly undo every last button on Reid's shirt, before dropping it on the floor with his vest. Reid shivered as JJ's hands ghosted across his naked chest, but he didn't move from her touch.

Unexpectedly, to both JJ and Reid, the genius reached out and placed both hands on JJ's waist, playing with the top of her pants. He looked at her, the question in his eye. She nodded to him, so he rather clumsily undid her buckle, and it wasn't long until JJ was standing there in nothing but her underwear. Almost as soon as the words "now me" had left Reid's lips, JJ had removed his pants as well. The two of them stood there, almost naked, and it wasn't long before they were kissing again. But it was different than before. Something had changed. The immense love that they felt for each other was still there, but with a fierceness and passion they had never felt before. Their kisses had _never_ been this intense before.

Do you… do you want to go to bed?" Reid asked timidly, cautiously.

JJ looked at him, shocked. "Are you sure?" she asked. "We don't have to if you don't want to."

"I do want to," said Reid. "I want you _so_ much, JJ. I love you. I'm ready." Reid hesitated for the briefest of seconds before speaking again. "It's just… thinking the others were gone forever, made me think about what would happen if I lost you. And I just couldn't face that. That's when I realised I was ready."

JJ nodded and took a few steps away from Reid, stopping with her hand outstretched. "Come with me then," she whispered, a gentle yet suggestive tone to her voice. Reid nodded, no thought in his mind other than JJ when he reached his own hand out and took hers. She led him towards her bedroom and then lay down on her bed, beckoning to him. Without a moment's hesitation Reid went to her, his lips meeting hers in an intense and lingering kiss.

It was a long while later when Reid and JJ were just lying in bed, their bodies covering in a sheen of sweat, feeling exhausted yet incredibly happy. It was still unbelievable to Reid that JJ was his in _every way_.

Reid rolled onto his side, so he was facing JJ. He reached out and placed a hand tenderly against her cheek. "My beautiful JJ," he said. "You are… amazing."

"You're not so bad yourself," said JJ with a smile. "And here I was, thinking that the reason you weren't ready to have sex with me was because you were bad in bed. Boy was I wrong."

"I just wanted to make you happy," Reid said simply.

"You did," JJ assured him. "You did in _every way_. I want you to know that."

Reid shifted, pulling JJ into his arms. "I love you, Jennifer Jareau. My beautiful, _beautiful_ JJ."

"I love you too, Spencer Reid," JJ replied. My sweet, amazing Spence. My _everything_."

"You do realise we're going to be tired in the morning?" Reid pointed out. "And sore. Well, at least in my case. I may not be a virgin, but I certainly don't have much experience."

JJ laughed. "Don't worry, Spencer," she said. "It's been a while since my last time, too. I like to think that I was saving my next time for you." JJ nestled into Reid's naked chest, listening to his heartbeat.

Reid was unable to stop himself from letting out a small yawn and he closed his eyes, burying his face in JJ's hair. "Goodnight, JJ," he said sleepily.

"Goodnight, Spencer," JJ murmured back. And it wasn't long until the two agents were swept into a peaceful sleep by their exhaustion.

* * *

**A/N: So there you have it! Reid finally felt he was ready to give JJ _all_ of him :P So what did you think? Love, hate, meh? Please review and tell me what you thought!**


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